Saturday, 14 March 2015

Initiating Physical Intimacy.

Sometimes I feel like I'm only living through my teenage years now in regards to dating.

During my teenage years as I was trying desperately to date girls, I felt like I never really got to follow my instincts in what I actually really wanted to do especially when it came to physical intimacy on dates. You watch movies and you see the guy sneakily put his arm around the girl during the movie - smooth. I never had that because I never wanted to with girls. That's why I feel like I'm only living that stage of life now as I try to date guys... I get petrified of how to make a move.

That brings me to my date last night.

It was date #2 for us.

We texted a little bit during the week but not a whole lot. I didn't know how he felt and I'm sure he didn't really know how I felt. We were supposed to go ice skating on Wednesday but we had to cancelled because something came up for him so we re-scheduled to Friday night.

I must say I was a bit nervous about the plans because we couldn't really find a time that worked for both of us so we decided the best time was meeting up Friday night after his show which finished at 10pm. We decided to watch a movie at my house.

I picked him up from the theatre; we shared a quick hello hug and jumped in my car. We chatted casually about the week gone by which was nice.

We stopped by Subway to grab some take away dinner while we watched the movie because we were somewhat on a time schedule. You see, he didn't drive and he lives about an hour away from me and he was planning on catching a train home last night (the last one being at 1am). I would've given him a ride but I had work earlier on Saturday morning so I really needed to sleep... plus this date was wayyyy past my bedtime.

Anyways, we got home and put on a movie and ate our dinner... this is how it started....

We started on separate ends of the couch. My heart was pounding... do I move closer? Do I make a move? Does he want me to? Slowly I inch closer and closer... our legs would brush occasionally and I would put my hand on the couch next to me kinda like that picture up there. It was quite the 'typical' teenage dates most people went through during high school. I can't remember a specific point but somehow my arm just ended up around him and he put his head on my shoulder and his hand on my lap and our other hands linked together.

The movie finished and we continue to sit in that position and chat and it felt great. There were moments when our faces inched closer but it didn't happen.... yet. Either way, by the time the movie finished it was past 1am so I offered him to stay over (on the couch). He kindly accepted.

We continued to talk and eventually when we got up we just stood there and hugged... then we looked each other in the eyes... and it happened. We kissed... it was brief but it was sweet.

We got ready for bed and I offered for him to stay in my bed - WHAT THE HELL?! What did I just do? I was 100% certain I didn't want anything to get too heated because that just wasn't me - in the words of Kelly Clarkson: "I do not hook up". Then there I was with a guy I had just met for the second time... in my bed.

Believe it or not, nothing happened. I have so much more respect for him that he didn't make further advancements and proud that I didn't myself. We spooned and talked and fell asleep hours later.

So this is how it ended.

It was nice waking up next to someone. I really miss it. Although now comes the awkward part.

What are we now?

I don't have the answer. This morning was kind of rushed because I had to get ready for work and get to work so it wasn't my ideal way to end the date. I really hope I see him again.

I guess there's still a lot more of the dating phases to go through but it has been nice thus far.

(Come on! Text me!)

I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about my dating life by now! If not, stay tuned!

Sunday, 8 March 2015

Dates, dates and more dates

So I was half way through writing a post for my last date and then got distracted (been a busy week!)

Since then, I've been on another date and interestingly enough it gives me a bit more incite into reviewing the first date.

So here it goes:

Date #1:

So I had been talking to this guy on the phone for a couple of days before we met up last Thursday night for dinner. When I saw him there wasn't any instant physical chemistry and to be honest there was probably zero physical attraction there. Nevertheless, I wanted to get to know him because looks aren't everything and we did have good conversations over the phone.

We met up just around the corner from my house and walked to the dumpling restaurant just around the corner. We had some good conversations and laughed a bit during the night. It was quite positive overall except for the lack of physical attraction.

After dinner we parted ways at the street corner of my house, just said our pleasantries and say goodnight, no goodnight kiss, hug or even a handshake. It was actually quite awkward. The date really caused me to reflect on what I was looking for and what I wanted. Was I looking for a good guy to settle down with or was I looking for a hot guy? I've never considered myself to be shallow in any way but for once in my life... I'm feeling shallow because the only thing negative about the date was the lack of physical attraction. I didn't want that to be me so I wanted to give it another try so I texted him the next day and said I'm not really sure how I feel yet but I would like to get to know him more. I guess the other thing that freaked me out is that this guy is about to have a kid! Crazy I know! So I mean he's seriously looking for someone to settle down with which I'm totally up for... but a kid?? Now?? I mean I would love kids but I think it would be a bit of a strain to have a kid this early!

Ether way, we've exchanged a few phone calls since and it's been pleasant and I'm open to seeing him again.

Date #2:

So I've been texting this guy for about a week now and we decided to meet up for dinner last night. He's a performer *swoon* so I was meeting him after a show last night at around 5pm. We met up and decided to have dinner first at a cafe. I was instantly smitten by his beaming smile and his horrible Dad jokes that he proceeded to tell during dinner. We finished dinner and grabbed ice cream and sat by the pier and talked while we ate our ice cream, it was quite romantic actually. It was also getting cold so we made our way back to the car and I offered to give him a ride home (he lived about an hour from where I live) so on the car ride it was a good time to talk and stuff. During the car ride we decided to go bowling because let's face it, who doesn't love bowling (we're sounding so Mormon aren't we? Ice cream and bowling for the first date!)

We got to bowling and had a blast teasing each other and it was fun. He beat me in the first game and I beat him in the second so we were pretty even. Then  drove him home. Oh I hate this part... such awkwardness... what do you do... so we chatted for a bit in the car and then we were kinda like, 'oookkkaaayy well thanks for a good night, I better go' and then we sat there for a few more seconds in silence as if we're waiting for the other person to make a move. Eventually he put his arms out to give me a hug and we just hugged for a few brief seconds in the car. I had the biggest smile on my face driving home singing along to show tunes.

I texted him when i got home because I hated paying the 'whose turn is it to text' game. It did take some convincing from my friend though... you know... you don't want to sound too desperate but if you don't put yourself out there you'll never know. Oh and we have a second date :) We're going ice skating this week.

The scary thing was... a lot of my insecurities started to show itself again... a lot of bad memories from my last relationship and how things would go wrong. I started even questioning whether or not I want a relationship and I'm sure that's really a way to protect myself from being hurt again.

I feel like there's so many more expectations for a follow up date as well. Do I kiss him? Are we meant to vocalise interest? Do I touch his hand? Oh I don't know!! I said I was bad at this dating thing!!

Stay tuned for how the second date goes.

Date #3:

I was meant to met up with this guy for a drink tonight which I didn't really didn't feel like after my date last night but I felt like I had to because I don't want to stand someone up. Thankfully he had to cancel but we were going to reschedule for sometimes this week... I know it's just a casual date but I just don't feel like serial dating - maybe that's why I failed at being a Mormon.

So I don't know where this one is at now but I'm hoping nothing happens...


So there you have it. I was on a dating drought and now I'm serial dating!

Dating is just such an intriguing activity. Sometimes you feel like you're going crazy or that you are crazy! Please reassure me that I'm not the only one like this, haha! Either way, I'm trying to remain calm and collected. I think I do have a tendency to settle sometimes or be blinded by the the excitement of it all but really... there is no logic to love and relationships, perhaps it's one of those things like the spirit... you can't explain it, you can only feel it.  

I love turning to wikihow in these instances!

Sometimes I'd rather have these dates: