Initiating Physical Intimacy.

Sometimes I feel like I'm only living through my teenage years now in regards to dating.

During my teenage years as I was trying desperately to date girls, I felt like I never really got to follow my instincts in what I actually really wanted to do especially when it came to physical intimacy on dates. You watch movies and you see the guy sneakily put his arm around the girl during the movie - smooth. I never had that because I never wanted to with girls. That's why I feel like I'm only living that stage of life now as I try to date guys... I get petrified of how to make a move.

That brings me to my date last night.

It was date #2 for us.

We texted a little bit during the week but not a whole lot. I didn't know how he felt and I'm sure he didn't really know how I felt. We were supposed to go ice skating on Wednesday but we had to cancelled because something came up for him so we re-scheduled to Friday night.

I must say I was a bit nervous about the plans because we couldn't really find a time that worked for both of us so we decided the best time was meeting up Friday night after his show which finished at 10pm. We decided to watch a movie at my house.

I picked him up from the theatre; we shared a quick hello hug and jumped in my car. We chatted casually about the week gone by which was nice.

We stopped by Subway to grab some take away dinner while we watched the movie because we were somewhat on a time schedule. You see, he didn't drive and he lives about an hour away from me and he was planning on catching a train home last night (the last one being at 1am). I would've given him a ride but I had work earlier on Saturday morning so I really needed to sleep... plus this date was wayyyy past my bedtime.

Anyways, we got home and put on a movie and ate our dinner... this is how it started....

We started on separate ends of the couch. My heart was pounding... do I move closer? Do I make a move? Does he want me to? Slowly I inch closer and closer... our legs would brush occasionally and I would put my hand on the couch next to me kinda like that picture up there. It was quite the 'typical' teenage dates most people went through during high school. I can't remember a specific point but somehow my arm just ended up around him and he put his head on my shoulder and his hand on my lap and our other hands linked together.

The movie finished and we continue to sit in that position and chat and it felt great. There were moments when our faces inched closer but it didn't happen.... yet. Either way, by the time the movie finished it was past 1am so I offered him to stay over (on the couch). He kindly accepted.

We continued to talk and eventually when we got up we just stood there and hugged... then we looked each other in the eyes... and it happened. We kissed... it was brief but it was sweet.

We got ready for bed and I offered for him to stay in my bed - WHAT THE HELL?! What did I just do? I was 100% certain I didn't want anything to get too heated because that just wasn't me - in the words of Kelly Clarkson: "I do not hook up". Then there I was with a guy I had just met for the second time... in my bed.

Believe it or not, nothing happened. I have so much more respect for him that he didn't make further advancements and proud that I didn't myself. We spooned and talked and fell asleep hours later.

So this is how it ended.

It was nice waking up next to someone. I really miss it. Although now comes the awkward part.

What are we now?

I don't have the answer. This morning was kind of rushed because I had to get ready for work and get to work so it wasn't my ideal way to end the date. I really hope I see him again.

I guess there's still a lot more of the dating phases to go through but it has been nice thus far.

(Come on! Text me!)

I'm sure you're all sick of hearing about my dating life by now! If not, stay tuned!